Zugenia's Procrastination Salon

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February 5th, 2007

Paraglider vs. Eagle.

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Maybe it's the DayQuil talking,1 but I'm so very tickled by this story about a pair of wild eagles attacking a paraglider in Australia. Reuters reports:

Britain's top female paraglider has cheated death after being attacked by a pair of "screeching" wild eagles while competition flying in Australia.

Nicky Moss, 38, watched terrified as two huge birds began tearing into her parachute canopy, one becoming tangled in her lines and clawing at her head 2,500 meters (8,200ft) in the air.

...

"It swooped in and hit me on the back of the head, then got tangled in the glider which collapsed it. So I had a very, very large bird wrapped up screeching beside me as I screamed back," Moss said.


The wedge-tailed eagle of Australia: "the shark of the air."


I love the image of traded screeches and screams nearly a thousand feet in the air; it's so Man Bites Panda After Panda Bites Man. And if it is true, as the article suggests, that the eagles attacked after mistaking the paraglider "as a bird intruder," one cannot but admire the avian approach to homeland security. Wedge-tailed eagles may have a wing-span of two meters, but think of what kind of bird a paraglider would look like. I think veteran Australian paraglider pilot Godfrey Wenness says it best as he points out that "eagle attacks were rare, but Moss had been flying in an area where the birds were not accustomed to human pilots":

"Eagles are the sharks of the air. But if you're a regular they just treat you pretty indifferently," he said.

That's right, bitches. The sharks of the air. None of this "they're more afraid of you than you are of them" nonsense; glide through their neighborhood like you own the place and these birds will fuck you up.



1I have a lot of DayQuil pumping through my system right now, as a low-grade flu-like thing from the weekend has decayed into a high-grade head cold. Despite the drugs, my throat hurts, my head hurts, my face hurts, even my snot hurts, and there is a lot of the latter. It's Monday morning and I am thoroughly disgusting.

[x-posted to LEVIATHAN and [info]thelunarsociety]

January 29th, 2007

Overheard in line at the coffee shop this morning:

Sorority Girl 1: I cannot believe I have to take this ridiculous workshop. He said it would go until six in the evening...

Sorority Girl 2: Oh my gosh.

Sorority Girl 1: ...and then it went till seven.

Sorority Girl 2: Oh my gosh.

Sorority Girl 1: And there are all these tools all over, like hacksaws and, like, circular saws, and I don't know what, but it's really scary.

Sorority Girl 2: Oh my gosh, that's so scary.

Sorority Girl 1: And he was telling us all these horror stories, like about girls who got scalped because their hair got caught up in the gears when they were using the saw.

Sorority Girl 2: OH. MY. GOSH.

Sorority Girl 1: I'm gonna get a guy to do it for me.

(Who won this round? Cast your votes now!)

August 31st, 2005

According to IMDb Celebrity News, Spielberg Enrages Hungarians. That is the actual headline. Here's the story:

Director Steven Spielberg has infuriated the residents of Budapest, Hungary with his disrespect of their daily lives, while filming new movie Munich. PageSix.com reports fuming locals have faced an array of irritations since Hollywood came to town, including having their cars, which were in Spielberg's way, towed with barely any notice, endless traffic jams and severe warnings should they attempt to take pictures of the proceedings. And city-dwellers are particularly amazed by the Americans' arrogant attitude - as they assume Budapest should be honored to be the Oscar-winning director's chosen location. A source tells PageSix.com, "The best part is (Spielberg's people) keep saying, 'This is the biggest thing ever to happen to Budapest,' which is true if you discount the whole Roman and Ottoman Empires, World Wars I and II, the fall of communism and the European Union's accession."

No wonder people the world over think Americans are arrogant pricks. And dumb as bricks, to boot.

While we're on the topic of celebrities, does anyone else find it creepy that Paris Hilton's fiancé is also named Paris? It seems distinctly unnatural.

I'm in the midst of preparing my opening remarks on Hobbes's theory of the passions and humoral theory in general. Ever wonder why you get so sad? Too much black bile. Pissed off? Yellow bile. the early modern body is wonderfully disgusting.
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