- 18:09 I am going to juice all the fruit, heat it up, and put whiskey in it. Hello, Friday night. #
December 5th, 2009
December 4th, 2009
So I finally dredged up out of the depths of my brain the set of lyrics from Peter Pan's "I Won't Grow Up" that had been eluding me—
—and they have been running though my head ever since. KILL ME.
'Cause growing up is awfuller
Than all the awful things that ever were
I'll never grow up
Never grow up
Never grow uh-up...
No sir!
—and they have been running though my head ever since. KILL ME.
December 2nd, 2009
- 08:07 Canadians keep asking me whether I shopped over American Thanksgiving. Are they making fun of me? #
December 1st, 2009
Slept well until 6am, at which point I woke up, cleaned the kitchen, and threw all the roots in the house—potatoes, sweet potatoes, beets, onions, carrots, ginger—into a soup. Maybe later I'll toss all the things that grow on trees into the juicer. I know, right? My life: try to keep up.
November 26th, 2009
- 00:10 Made it home to NYC. My parents have wine and cable, i.e. access to Craig Ferguson. I love Thanksgiving. #
November 25th, 2009
November 24th, 2009
This video has been making the rounds, and it you haven't watched it yet, you really should. Unless you are a penguin. I promise it is not gory, only heartwarming. Unless you are a penguin.
- 14:38 In today's episode of When Comfort Foods Attack, I burn my thumb with delicious cajun tomato soup. #
November 23rd, 2009
last night I dreamt I discovered little white bubble-like growths all down the lefthand side of my face and neck and across my shoulders and on my scalp and when I popped them giant ants crawled out and I thought, This is what I get for eating rice grown from found seeds
and then a nemesis challenged me to a karaoke showdown and the KJ didn't have any of the songs I requested, NOT A SINGLE ONE
and everyone was waiting
and then a nemesis challenged me to a karaoke showdown and the KJ didn't have any of the songs I requested, NOT A SINGLE ONE
and everyone was waiting
- 13:19 If I can get through these essays, I shall be rewarded with chili and Foyle's War. #
- 15:16 Canadian drugstores are filled with brands I remember from my childhood. Dristan, anyone? #
- 17:25 Listening to a 10th-grade teacher tell someone he's been in Starbucks since 9am marking 169 math tests. I so prefer my own job. #
November 22nd, 2009
November 21st, 2009
- 10:26 Daisy's new favorite game = dropping her slobbery Kong in my lap, right on my laptop keyboard. #
November 20th, 2009
November 18th, 2009
November 17th, 2009
a kickball game is underway in a swamp and the alligators have been trained to catch the ball in their jaws and stand up on the water and drop-kick the ball back to land but this one which is unnaturally large (are we sure they are alligators? they may be supernatural creatures, and in any case they are frightening) keeps running up to reclaim the ball so that he is essentially playing kickball with himself
and haruki murakami is giving a lecture on something like globalization and identity and there is a huge audience and we are separated from him by a fence, he is actually in the swamp and occasionally retrieves a stray kickball and tosses it back to the alligators, and a girl comes up to me and asks when he is going to talk about asian american literature and i am trying to explain that althought this lecture isn't really about that she will probably find it of interest anyway but she turns away from me and yells MURAKAMI WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT CHINESE FOOD and he actually gives her a direct reply which is something like it can be very delicious in his experience
my view is blocked by three unnaturally large young chinese men who smell of old sweat and i realize how hot it's been
and then you remind me that we have to finish our training so we turn to page 115 of the manual and the next section involves singing directly into the kiosk or Training Machine and it has become nighttime
i am shaky at first but the songs on page 115 are all soft rock classics that for some reason i know quite well and this one is a duet called "quaaludes of tears" as if a quaalude were a measure of tears
i wake up with the tune of this nonexistent song still in my head
and haruki murakami is giving a lecture on something like globalization and identity and there is a huge audience and we are separated from him by a fence, he is actually in the swamp and occasionally retrieves a stray kickball and tosses it back to the alligators, and a girl comes up to me and asks when he is going to talk about asian american literature and i am trying to explain that althought this lecture isn't really about that she will probably find it of interest anyway but she turns away from me and yells MURAKAMI WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT CHINESE FOOD and he actually gives her a direct reply which is something like it can be very delicious in his experience
my view is blocked by three unnaturally large young chinese men who smell of old sweat and i realize how hot it's been
and then you remind me that we have to finish our training so we turn to page 115 of the manual and the next section involves singing directly into the kiosk or Training Machine and it has become nighttime
i am shaky at first but the songs on page 115 are all soft rock classics that for some reason i know quite well and this one is a duet called "quaaludes of tears" as if a quaalude were a measure of tears
i wake up with the tune of this nonexistent song still in my head
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November 11th, 2009
- 09:52 If canned soup for breakfast is wrong, I don't want to be right. #
November 7th, 2009
- 14:55 TCM is showing a movie acted entirely by dogs in costumes. I am not making this up. yfrog.com/0qsnbj #
November 6th, 2009
November 5th, 2009
- 11:07 Had a sonogram of my swollen neck. Now convinced I am incubating aliens in there. #
- 18:35 let's go baseball (boom boom boom-boom-boom) #
- 22:47 Matsui-san for MVP!! #
- 23:16 I love these guys. #
November 4th, 2009
- 10:58 Daisy clearly cannot survive on only one person walking her each day. She has now eaten her last leash. #
November 3rd, 2009
- 12:15 I am so mad at my face right now. #
- 19:16 Daisy ate my glasses. #
- 19:17 I don't even know where the remains are. I just found her calmly chewing on a mangled arm. #
November 2nd, 2009
- 19:16 It is entirely impossible that I have mumps, right? #
November 1st, 2009
- 17:45 Overheard from the kitchen: "Daisy, I wish you'd do your best not to drive me crazy. Do you think you can do that?" Not likely. #
- 18:27 Best costumes at our door so far tonight: Dead Cheerleader and Fairy Pirate. #
- 20:15 I want baseball! #
- 21:54 An-dy Pet-titte (boom boom boom-boom-boom)! #
- 22:21 Swish! #
October 31st, 2009
So our cat, Ophelia (a.k.a. Kitty), who'd slept in Derek's bed her entire life, began boycotting our bedroom after we brought Daisy home in April 2008. (I think this is because for the first couple of weeks we put Daisy's crate in the bedroom with us at night, but Kitty continued to withhold her affection long after Daisy was removed to the hallway.) About a month ago she took up with us again, installing herself nearly 24/7 in the middle of the bed the VERY DAY I put on a brand new duvet cover. Fortunately for us, the duvet cover is white and cat hair doesn't really show up on it, so we were mostly happy that she decided to sleep with us again. This was clearly not her primary motivation, because she mostly abandoned the bed for the top of an open bag of clothes I've been meaning to take to the dry cleaner, which from her feline perspective is just a pile of dark, expensive clothing that cannot go in the washing machine. This bag has been sitting, growing, on top of a dresser for the past couple of weeks, so it has the added benefit of placing her literally above us when we are lying down. Just now, I went in and found her sneering at me from a new throne: the black sweater I wear ALL THE TIME that I carelessly left lying on top of another dresser yesterday. It takes me more energy than it's probably worth to keep it relatively cat-hair free when she's NOT using it for a bed. HOW DO CATS KNOW?
- 11:27 I am beginning to take ELM's supreme suckage personally. #
- 13:00 Daisy had herself a little late-night round of Guitar Hero. She literally destroyed the mic. #
- 20:13 Making Mario Batali's sweet & sour pumpkin. Feels like I'm sauteeing a jack-o-lantern's head. Festive. #
October 29th, 2009
1. Atlas Sound - Walkabout
2. Cream - Anyone for Tennis
3. The Cats and the Fiddle - Killin' Jive
4. Wire - Champs
5. Psapp - Dad's Breakdown
6. The Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made for These Times
7. Palace Brothers - I Am a Cinematographer
8. Doris Troy - Just One Look
9. Beck - Today Has Been a Fucked Up Day
10. Altered Images - I Could Be Happy
11. The Moldy Peaches - Who's Got the Crack
12. Powder - Snap, Crackle, Pop
13. The Three O'Clock - Fall to the Ground
14. Yonlu - Katie Don't Be Depressed
15. The Walkmen - Lost in Boston
16. Sam Roberts - The Canadian Dream
17. Lady & Bird - Suicide Is Painless
18. Elliott Smith - Wouldn't Mama Be Proud
19. Louis Jordan - Junco Partner
20. Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl
21. Sufjan Stevens - We Won't Need Legs to Stand
22. Bo Diddly - I'm High Again
23. The Smiths - That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
24. Doris Duke - Let Love Touch Us Now
25. Bob Dylan - Talking World War III Blues
Download INFINITE JEST: THE MIXTAPE
See also Love in XXXess and Swann in Love
- 21:01 In class, right after explaining in detail the mechanics of the double entendre, I unwittingly referred to a "snatch" of dialogue. FML #
October 28th, 2009
- 12:42 Finished Infinite Jest this morning. #
- 12:42 Don't know if I know how to read anything else anymore. #
- 16:38 Not a single one of my students had ever even heard of H. P. Lovecraft. FAIL, students. So fail. #
October 27th, 2009
- 12:23 LET'S GO YANKEES (boom boom boom-boom-boom) #
October 25th, 2009
- 10:59 Apple-pear crumble in the oven. Extra butter. #
- 12:56 The Razorbacks game is so painful my husband is demanding Vicodin. #
October 23rd, 2009
- 13:12 Next to 2 students in the union discussing the technical details of their intl cell phone plans. Like listening to the boringest ad ever. #
- 13:12 But I am undeniably fascinated by how long they are making this topic last. #
- 13:18 A 3rd party has called 1 of them on her cell phone and now she is describing her plan to that person. These people must be corporate plants. #
- 21:43 DID YOU KNOW IT IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY WELL GUESS WHAT IT IS #
October 22nd, 2009
- 08:07 Say goodbye to Daisy. If I ever get my hands on her again, I shall use them to murder her. #
- 08:41 At this point, she'd better just keep running. #
- 11:31 Was going to skip 2nd half of office hours to attend faculty event, but was late to first half of office hours, so I feel obliged to stay. #
- 11:32 This will make me an hour late to faculty event, which I'd have to leave early in order not to be late to my lecture. #
- 11:33 My lecture is already going to make me run an hour late for a committee meeting. #
- 11:33 How is today even possible? #
October 20th, 2009
- 00:09 Derek made me watch a documentary that made me cry so much we need a comedic palate cleanser before bed. #
- 00:12 Thus, MST3K: Zombie Nightmare. #
October 18th, 2009
- 20:48 Just made a butternut squash and ginger soup that changes everything. #
October 17th, 2009
- 13:40 How did Without a Trace get cancelled and Numb3rs remain on the air? I cry foul. #
